I don't really know exactly where to start cos 2013 has been one hell of a ride for me. Honestly, it wasn't a very good year compared to 2012 but we all learn from mistakes don't we? I have mix feelings about inviting 2014. Happy cos it's a new year for me to start anew, sad because I'm turning........23!!!! I feel pressurized to be more "successful".
#ONE : RELATIONSHIP
The biggest event of this year, unfortunately was my break up with Daniel from Feb - Oct. 8 long painful months. Many of y'all always ask me for relationship advice on my askfm, maybe cos I seemingly picked myself up from a painful heartbreak very easily. And here's the truth, I'm not as strong as I portrayed myself to be. I put on a strong front, and forced myself to be happy. It wasn't easy at all dealing with a break up with someone I love so much. Break ups were never easy no? I went the normal route people took, sobbed my nights away, nightmares of D for 10 days straight, tried to open my eyes to other things anew, buried myself with friends and work but you know how these things/people blur out when you're alone. I made lots of mistakes during the 8 months and one of it was hurting Daniel with my words and actions. I pushed him away so I could clear my head and think things through rationally. Politically the right thing to do, but very insensitive and selfish of me. I am still sorry, D. Amidst all that, I found the answer. And I learned the hard way that with every relationship comes a set of their problems. The crux lies with your willingness to work things out cordially with the right person.
Though I had my reservations if I made the right move in sipping into this relationship all over again, I know on the other hand nothing is ever guaranteed. Nothing. Good things come with risk, that's why it's a good thing because you need to fight for what's worth. Good things come to those who fight, not those who wait. And one thing I've learnt is that, as long as you love the person, you will continue fighting no matter what, be it with yourself or with him. So this fight will never end unless the flame in you is extinguished. So to every broken soul, wavered hearts, the reason why you are affected (good or bad), so long you still feel a strong surge of emotions, painful or happy, it's because the flame in you is still burning. Keep fighting for what's worth. Fight for your happiness, but firstly learn to gain happiness from within yourself and not from others.
Daniel and I will continue this good fight come what may, simply because the flame in us is burning bright and alive.
And with 2013 coming to an end, I just wanna say this to you Daniel.
That I love you and am still thanking God for your presence in my life. We may fight and quarrel, have our disagreements but at the end of the day I'd rather be fighting with you than with anyone else. Cos I know no one but you will ever understand me the way you do, let down your pride to salvage things between us, and most importantly, hold onto me so tightly in spite of my flaws and ignorance. I'm not the best person/girlfriend around but you always tell me and tell yourself I am, simply because you CHOOSE to look at me that way. So thank you very much. I hope and believe 2014 will be more fulfilling for us <3
#TWO : BORACAY/TRAVELS
Kinda odd how one little island is a big event of 2013, but it is. If you've been following me long enough, you would know that I travel quite a bit and I love travelling to death. Travelling is kinda my antidote to every problem. I still remember once when I was feeling stressed and upset, I checked and booked my air ticket at 2am and flew off to HK at 7am that very same morning.
I am a beach/watersports girl and I don't regret going to Boracay at all simply because it's the most beautiful beach I've ever been to so far. I love the crystal clear gradient shades of water, white sandy beach, our little hillside bamboo house, chopping waters on the sail boat. Celebrating Daniel's 21st birthday there was certainly a right choice. Moreover, it was also the trip that we "officially" got back together.
Beautiful.
Other than Boracay, I've been travelling in and out of Singapore a lot and I just love how each and every trip opens my eyes to something new and interesting. It doesn't matter which country you go or what hotel you stay at, being abroad itself broadens your horizon and allows you to learn and see things you don't when you're in Singapore. And it's because being overseas gets you out of your comfort zone to explore. That's the beauty of travelling to me.
#THREE : BEST FRIENDS
This year, I gained and lost some friends. Gained more than I lost actually. But the people I really wna talk about are the ones who really stick to me through it all. I've said this countless times, but I can't be more thankful for my group of closest friends : Alistair, Kirk, Vera and Angelyn. These are the most precious friends anyone could possibly have, so count me extremely lucky that I have all of them in my pocket ^^ You know how a lot of cliques have internal problems like backstabbing etc but we have NONE. We don't bitch about each other, get jealous of each other, or sow discord among each other. If we have issues(which we rarely even have), we put it out on the table to talk. These people are always the ones who are there for me all the time, and I know they've got my back. It's been more than a decade for Alistair and I, and close to a decade for Kirk Vera and Ange and we are still tight as hell. They are the ones I'll go ALL out for, and I know they will do the same for me. I know y'all will read this, and I just wna know you guys hold such a special place in my heart. You guys redefine the word "best" for me.
*Super hard to find a picture of the 5 of us cos Ange and Alist are always out of town.
#FOUR : TPI
This year, because of Sof's birthday, we formed a group called The Party Invaders consisting of people from everywhere. Like literally everywhere. I know I know, many people have this impression that we are just a bunch of wild party animals. True to a certain extent minus the wild part. TPI really parties hard which is fun but partying aside, what I like about the group is that everyone is spontaneous. POTLUCK? OK LET'S GO. YACHT PARTY? OK LET'S GO. BANGKOK? OK LET'S GO. FEISTHEIST ANNI EVENT? TOCCO TENERO DEBUT LAUNCH? OK LET'S GO SUPPORT.
Many of us in the group own a business or some sort and I like the fact that we are very supportive of each other. Yes you can say sometimes it's for our own benefits, but at the same time, it's also because we understand the nature of the work and how important it is to have support for our own events, so we are willing to give them ours also. We all work together a lot to propel each other in ways we can.
Bottomline : not selfish.
Also, because some of them are the ones who were there for me during the break up that's why I feel a certain bond with them. Especially the very first "batch" before the group got bigger, people like Judith, Sofie, Hannah, Errol, Elvin and Joey. I remember how Hannah, Sofie, Errol and I had Valentine's dinner together at home because I was a lonely girl, how Hannah made sure I wasn't alone during post-cny so my mind won't wander off too far, how Joey is the "sister" to me and gave me honest advice and even scolded me when he thinks I'm at fault. How Judith is just such a sweet girl and always checking on me, and how Elvin cheered me up by letting me know I'm not alone and we were the "broken heart club". They all felt like my older brothers and sisters(:
#FIVE : BLOG/INSTAGRAM
I've been trying to blog more interesting stuff this year and will try to work on it even more in 2014 (: Here's the feedback I got from you guys during the recent giveaway :
- outfit
- travel
- put more captions
- make up vlogs
- more giveaways
- new blog template
- more tutorials
- more clothes on tjm
- advice
- inner thoughts/reflection
- travelogues
- monthly vlogs : hair, make up, room diy
- revamp tjm
- share more about your inspirations when it come to fashion and beauty related things
- more lifestyle posts
Don't worry, I've already jot them down so I will work on it (: I've also hit 10K on instagram not too long ago. Not a lot but thank you very much for the support still. Like I've always said, I'm happy with where I stand and grateful that you girls accept me the way I am.
I will try to take nicer pictures, travel more (HINT HINT airlines and hotels!!), and blog more interesting stuff!
Lastly and very importantly, I wanna say THANK YOU to everyone who's been supporting me and constantly dropping me notes of encouragement on my askfm and emails.
AI NI MEN <3
Sincerely wishing everyone a KICKASS 2014 ahead. Start your year happy and right!
XX
Sophia
Instagram and twitter : @sophia
