Sunday, 15 March 2015

"You're thinking too much"

This is for the girls out there.

"You're thinking too much"/"You're being overly-sensitive"/"You're being overly-emotional". These are the phrases MANY OR ALL girls hear from their boyfriends all the time. And it's the phrase we hate hearing the most because sometimes we really aren't overthinking and it's so f-ing hard to get it across to guys how extremely rational we are at that point. I admit sometimes we do overthink but NOT ALL THE TIME, right? Besides, it's human nature and hey guys do it too ok! But guys just like to use it against girls like a weapon to shift blame. Sometimes I feel like it's just a way they try to end the conversation/argument cos they don't have a better rebut?

I mean of course on some occasions or some girls are really nuts in the head. I've seen and heard a fair share of it. They really overthink every single thing and get overly emotional/unreasonable over super trivial matters. But hey, not every girl is like that and these "unreasonable girlfriends" are giving us a bad name. 

When a girl is sad/angry, she cries or throws a tantrum. Fine, she is being emotional. But have guys ever wondered what's causing her to behave like that. And when they ask what's wrong, we tell them the problem or how we feel. They reply "You're just thinking too much la, can you not be so sensitive?!". YOU ASK FOR WHAT, REALLY? Why is it that we are ALWAYS the ones thinking too much. Maybe you're not listening enough instead, especially when we are relating to you guys logically. Just because we are sad or angry doesn't mean we are high-strung or that our logic is overpowered by our emotions. Instead of looking into the problem, some guys just like to jump into conclusion that we are "unstable" and our opinions should be ignored. I think that's really f-ed up.

If we turn the situation around where girls say guys are overthinking when they are angry, the guys will confirm rage because we don't even treat their words and opinions in all seriousness. And that's how we girls feel! That guys don't take our opinions seriously even though they are the ones who asked for our opinions in the first place.We feel like we are being treated like a dumbass who can't control her thoughts/emotions. If a guy sees his girlfriend talking happily to another guy in the club, he will feel insecure/jealous or even angry even when the other guy is just a friend. His imagination might even run wild that the girlfriend is cheating or flirting. That's natural and the guy isn't at fault. He's just being human. BUT if the same situation happens to a girl who saw her boyfriend talking happily to another girl and confronts his boyfriend about it, she will 80% guarantee get this reply from her boyfriend "AIYA YOU'RE JUST THINKING TOO MUCH LA". Suddenly, it's not very humanly of girls to feel exactly how the guy would feel if tables were turned. 

Oh, so when girls get jealous we are thinking too much but if guys get jealous then they are not thinking too much is it? Someone tell me what logic is this. It's obviously stereotyping girls are just an overly-emotional, crazy and unreasonable breed.

It's just damn annoying that no matter what we try to put across to guys (even in the most logical and rational manner), we will always be deemed as "overly-sensitive/irrational" girls just cos our opinions don't align. What makes guys' rationality and reasoning the benchmark for us girls? It's just damn tiring when we girls try to explain to you how we feel and get shut off by "You're just overthinking la". You think we will want to continue to be rational with you guys after that since no matter what we do, we are always that "erratic woman". We can be rational and logical but guys just choose to stereotype  and turn a blind eye to that. 

I really hate it when this happens and I'm sure MANY girls feel the same way too. We are hormonally a more sensitive gender but don't climb over our heads by saying we are "over-thinkers" to run away from a problem. FYI, it's our sensitive nature that makes us the more caring and observant gender which is also what guys are attracted by. So if guys want the good side of our sensitivity then learn to accept and understand the other side of it. 

I'm not saying that all guys are like that or all girls are rational at all times, but it just sucks for the more rational girls to be labelled "over-thinkers" and used as a weapon against us by guys who can't look beyond it.

That being said, I've seen crazy girls who make a mountain out of a molehill and guys who are extremely understanding and nice. So peace out guys, it's just my two cents' worth on a boring Saturday night.

Instagram and Twitter : @sophiachong

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