Before you think this is a birthday post, it's not. It's far from one. It felt like just yesterday I was in Paris counting down to 2015 and poof, 4 months just zoomed past in a blink of an eye. Time flies, it really does. In the past 4 months, a lot have been going on in my head. I've been feeling, thinking, wallowing and fighting myself, and I blame it on quarter life crisis though I'm only hitting 24 this year. Close enough anyway. I've managed to sort out my thoughts, took a bit long but here it is.
You know how when we were little, we aspired and dreamt of so many great things to happen in our adult lives. How we would take the education path our nation so fervently tried to inculcate in us since primary one, how we would be figures of inspiration at work, how we would be doctors, lawyers or scientists as if it's so damn easy. I remember how my close friends and I used to talk about the future, how we would buy one whole row of terrace houses and live next to each other. We could play mahjong, throw slumber parties, do afternoon teas and mani pedi all day long at each other's house. And then, there were also dreams of having so many friends you would completely lose count, thinking that you can rely and trust on all 100 of them. Right now, the people whom I trust fully can only be counted with my fingers. And that my friend, is the reality we have to accept.
As you age, you will realise that some things that used to matter won't matter anymore and that some people whom you thought would grow old with you in that rocking chair, won't. We aspired to be great things with great lives ahead, one without much stumbling but as you age, you know that reality is nowhere near that. People come and go. Some will come in sheep's clothing, they will come silently but cunningly to rob some things away from you. Maybe wealth, maybe fame or maybe sheer emotions, Be careful not to dive too deep into such friendships cos at the end of the day, the most precious thing of all ; time, is lost. As I age, things I pursue gradually shift. It may be lesser in quantity but I want it to be filled with content that I can look back when I'm on my deathbed and say, hey I've lived the way I want to with no regrets.
You got to wake up one day, sooner better than later, and realise that you don't need a world of friends. All you need is that few who pick you up when you fall, who didn't walk away when everyone else did. All you need is that few who celebrate your successes and pull you up from failures. That few you can bawl your eyes out and not feel awkward at all. These few deserve all of you, so don't let them go at all cost.
I used to believe there's kindness in everyone no matter how evil-hearted or cunning they may appear. I still do believe in it I guess. The only difference is that I don't hope for anything out of these people anymore. If they fail you once, they will fail you twice. Their nature might stem from kindness and they have a choice to utilise this gift. But trust me, sometimes the world is so weird people just choose to be snobbish, mean, condescending and everything nasty you can possibly imagine. And that's just sad. But let's just get over them and carry on living. You really can't please the world so don't let these people define you or your happiness. Be in control of your own emotions.
Another thing that bothers me quite a bit is how people tend to tell someone how they should look, how they should do this or that to enhance their physical appeal. Nobody should tell anyone what or how they should look like, or how much better and nearer to perfection they would be if they had done more aesthetic enhancements unless an opinion is asked. It's tragic that society has set an unrealistic idea of perfection or beauty, and it doesn't help that people try to instil that idea of perfection into someone and let these unnecessary ideals eat them up. Some people told me to remove the small mole on my left cheek because it apparently looks like acne to them (what????!!! i love my mole!), some people tell me i'd look better with longer chin (which I agree but it really doesn't bother me much), and some say I should even get a face lift to hide my high cheekbones. Well, here's what I have to say. Why in the world should I change myself to look more attractive to YOU? Are you the one reflecting me in the mirror? NO. Sometimes I really wish people learn to look at imperfections as a unique form of perfection. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against (reasonable amount of) aesthetic enhancement at all. All I'm saying is that, don't ever tell someone he/she is short of beautiful and don't go for it cos someone else tells you that you need it. Don't ever strip away an inch of confidence a person has, cos that might just be the thing that holds the person up. If anyone wants to do anything to their face or body on his or her own will, I say go ahead and be beautiful but be your own kind of beautiful, and not the world or others' kind of beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you you're not skinny or pretty enough because these mindless comments will never end.
Life is so short, don't waste it on people who don't wanna to be a part of it. Go do what you love, and don't let others tell you what you should or should not be. With that, I end my post with a tub of Haagen Dazs rum and raisin ice cream in my hand.
XX
Sophia
Instagram and Twitter : @sophiachong
